A list of excuses about unpaid invoices

The accounting department is some kind of magical bottomless well where everything either disappears or is forever being "booked". Payments come in there, but the fees for services no longer go out. When I ask a client (about a month after the payment deadline) whether they've already made the transfer, there's always a standard set of answers.

• The accountants said they'd send it someday.
• This work surely didn't cost that much, so I'll pay half.
• I have to check with the accountants.
• The invoice is already at the payment stage.
• The accountant is on holiday and only she can make the transfer.
• The invoice was on the seventh and accounting likes to pay on the thirtieth.
• I just called the accountants about this, but they're not picking up.
• We had a failure of the accounting system. Once Excel stops crashing, we'll make the transfer.
• It's been passed to the management board as a priority.
• The accountant is on sick leave.
• We make transfers on the third Friday of the month.
• The computers in accounting don't have Acrobat Reader.
• Only now did I analyse the quote and decided it's too high.
• I won't spend hard-earned money on R&D work. I know we ordered it but we're not happy with the result.

Even worse are the requirements as to how such an invoice should look in order to be paid.

• A paper invoice, please! The accountant doesn't understand emails! And we can't print a PDF. It has to be paper from you!
• The invoice is missing a drawn-on company logo. The accountant won't accept an invoice from a company without a logo.
• The payment term can't be 14 days. We need at least 180 because it has to go through an external accounting department.
• The accountant lost the printer cable and can't book the invoice, and without that she won't make the transfer.
• The accountant won't accept an invoice on this paper weight because her binder will be too thick. Please send it on different paper.
• The paper on the invoice is too white and the accountant's scanner can't scan the invoice.
• They can't pay because the accountant is in quarantine.
• The invoice has a date in the American format. We don't accept such invoices.

If you're struggling with problems of this kind in your company, I recommend listening to the episode How to choose an accounting firm? How to keep your accountant in check? Practical tips on the Mała Wielka Firma podcast.